And the Lord said...

So I've been going to church with my dad here in Myrtle Beach. The minister has been doing a series of sermons based on "If you want to walk on water then you have to get out of the boat."

It's based on the bible story where the disciples were on a boat in a storm and they saw Jesus walking on the waves, coming toward them. Peter, one of the disciples, says that if it is Jesus out there to command him to get out of the boat and join him. So he does. But Peter sees the waves under him, freaks out, and sinks. Jesus has to pull him out.

The idea is that if you want to do something amazing, like walk on water, then you can't stay in your comfort zone, the boat. It's about trusting God. With the weekly bulletin there's been an insert with questions to think about.

And I've been thinking about it. Mainly because while I was in Louisiana there were so many signs telling me this was not the right path for me. The landlady thing was the last straw, we had had enough.

Then my dad offers us the beach house to stay in and we come to Myrtle Beach. And in this economic climate all three of us get jobs within the first week. Not great paying jobs, but ones we all like and that will feed us.

So back to the sermons - perhaps sucking it up in Louisiana was my boat and downgrading my project to a masters and getting the heck out was my risk - climbing out of the boat.


Then this week was about what gifts do we have and are we using them or not? We often don't use our gifts because it's risky - we have fear, discomfort, and/or are complacent. In doing so we could miss out on a chance of a lifetime.

I often think of my final judgement day with God. He says, "I gave you 'this, this, and this' (fill in the blank) and what did you do with it?"

I think my time as a biologist may be over and time to tap into my other gifts and abilities. I have a supportive husband and family, my health, my smarts and I want to get back into my art, knitting, and writing. I feel driven to write a manifesto for how I think we as a society have gotten off path. The more I resist politics and the priorities of our society, the more I feel driven to write about it.

Time to get out of the boat.

Update in a nutshell

Ok, so we've moved from Louisiana to South Carolina, about 20 hours closer to Maryland, where I still consider "home."

Our bitch of a landlady has 2 days to give us back our security deposit or we're suing her. Oh how we need that money!

Fortunately both Alan and David have found full time jobs that they love. Unfortunately I have to go back to Louisiana for several weeks at a time. So I can't get my career-life going yet. This skunk project is becoming an anchor and a pain in the ass...

And I'm pretty sure I'll be a bad human mommy because my doggy children and my Henry child irritate me to no end recently. It seems like everything and everyone is needing from me and I'm running out of things to give.


Oh! So while I was taking Alan lunch one of the dogs (of course I don't know which one) chewed on a travel vial of ibuprofen (I don't even know where they got it from!). It was crunched shut so I don't think they really ate pills.

So I spent my afternoon trying to chase them down to squirt salt water down their throats to induce vomiting. The only thing I induced was Jockimo to spiral squirt diarrhea throughout a good chunk of the living room. I took me hours to clean it up.

But hey! I go swimming in the ocean every day!

I did it again...

I found this little darling running around outside a Walmart. She had a collar that had staples in it and was cinched too tight with zip ties. Of course no tags. Of course I took her home. Besides missing some hair on her throat from the collar that was way too tight, she was in relatively good condition. She took to our cats and dogs.

At first I thought about putting Found signs up, but then I wasn't sure I wanted to give her back to someone who did that with her collar. They probably couldn't afford a new collar, and thus couldn't afford her. I was also grateful that they left her at Walmart and didn't dump her in the woods.

The fantastic women at PAAWS (through whom we got Reeves and helped us with the litter I found) have a foster home for her. They'll get her vet care, spayed, and microchipped. We have a friend that when he gets back home next Monday, he wants to adopt her. If all goes well we'll be able to see her at the dog park all the time!

I would not hesitate every time I see a dog in need, to bring it home. We just can't keep any more...

My two favorite compliments

I think these will stay with me for the rest of my life:

1) I would like to be a temporary dictator of the US (really ideally the world) to fix some of the nonsensical problems and to fire most of Congress to start fresh. I say temporary because I hope to give power back to the people once we get back on track. History tells us I won't but I would like to believe that I would. A friend that I've made at the dog park, while I don't think she agrees with having a dictator told me she thinks I would be fair.

2) When I worked at the dinner theater, one of my friends and colleagues had his boyfriend there as a guest. The bf is a professional drag queen having won many a prestigious awards like Miss Gay Maryland. This man knows beauty. He saw me walking through the theater and asked his boyfriend who I was, that I was absolutely gorgeous.

Birthday

Alan and I made a day of it. We went out for breakfast and were just a few minutes late for breakfast. This is not a real diner, especially if you've been to the Nautilus. It's not open 24 hours, doesn't have a huge menu, and they don't offer breakfast all day. But whatever, I had a delicious salad.


Then we went to see the new "Pirates..." movie (in 2D). It was... good. Fun. Blackbeard was all wrong but hey, artistic license.


Then (using a coupon from the entertainment book) we went to Copeland's. It was really good, especially the cheesecake! Since we were paying $8 for a slice and it was my birthday I was determined to eat the whole things. Oh gracious...

It was a good day.

Motion camera pics

I thought I would share some of the creatures I have caught on camera. Everything but a spotted skunk...


Yes, that is a man's rear... I suppose a hunter wondering what the heck my track plate is.


Right in front of the track plate is blurry mouse jumping.


A raccoon kindly leaving some hairs on my glue traps.


Opossums work really hard to get in there. They scootch along on their bellies to get to the bait.


Coyotes are so awesome!


Armadillos are just too rotund to get in.


And yeah, a deer.

Another Sad-Dead-Brother Day

Oh my gracious how time flies!

Ever notice how time flies and stands still at the same time! I haven't written in awhile - if my small audience still cares - sorry! I've had this crazy project for a scientific illustration class. We had to put together plates for publication of photographs and line drawings of a part zoomed in. The drawings are made in Photoshop and Illustration (see below). They took a long time! But they are due today and done not matter what.

I think after class I'm going to take a nap. For three days.

My phone died. So I caved and got an iphone that was one of my upgrade options. I didn't want to like it. But I do...! I am hooked on Words with Friends.

Figure 1. Stinger of an Emperor scorpion.


Figure 2. Stinger of a common bark scorpion.

I can't get my roly poly head to load!

Something to look forward to

So both my doctor and my counselor say that if I keep going the way I am, I am headed for a break down.

Letting go

I stress all the time. Mostly because I hate living in Louisiana. SO much is out of my control and I need to learn better to pick my battles. I need to be more zen and roll with the waves. I wish I could literally do that.

Liz told me about how large water bodies are good for us because they are a negative ion sink and draw out our negative ions. I buy that completely. I know that when I am there I feel SO much better. And I need a dose. I could weep.

I say a mantra: peace, love, joy, happiness abounding

I guess if I say it enough one day I will believe it and feel it.

It'sbeen awhile... sorry

Sorry - I meant to keep up with this a bit better.

I've been working with my doctor to alter my meds. The first alteration had almost disastrous results. So we're tweaking it again...

I hate living in Louisiana. I got my three dogs here and I love them dearly, but there is not a thing here that I wouldn't give up in a heartbeat. Plus I feel so guilty about Alan's misery here. I am SO SO tempted to quit my project and move the fuck out.

Things:
1) I need the ocean... the Atlantic - the gulf doesn't count. I need the ocean breezes and waves to wash over me. It's cleansing and calming.
2) I would love some donuts from Dunkin' Donuts. A powered chocolate filled one and another with sprinkles. Rainbow sprinkles.
3) A Friendly's Reese's pieces sundae.
4) Maybe a snicker's one too.
5) I want to hear spring peepers when I drive by a stream or pond.
6) I want a Maryland spring with Maryland bugs and Maryland humidity.
7) I want to drive three hours to Ocean City just for lunch. (Actually I would stay for a but longer cause gas prices are so high!)
8) I want to only be 4 hours away from New York city.
9) All 5 of my pets have fleas. Do you know how hard it is to get rid of them when you live on sandy soils that don't get to cold enough temps to kill them?

I'm sorry I'm bitching but I am so so sad. I have only so much stamina and I don't think it will last Louisiana...

My poor little Maxwell Smart

I dropped him off this morning to get neutered... he was so happy to go with the techs. He is so sweet and happy. I have to go pick him later this afternoon. It will be so hard to keep him quiet and calm for a week... he's my precious baby.

Not much new...

Ok, so there's not much going on. My mom's visit was great but she's gone now... it was so nice to have help with my three canine toddlers and the house. I think I need a wife...

I've been getting migraines again regularly. Oh what joy...

I graded lab reports and watched The Princess and The Warrior yesterday. Again, what joy... I hate lab reports. No matter how many times you remind students of certain important elements they don't do it. I wonder if my writing is as bad to my advisor as my student's is to me...

Let me tell you a tale... of mud

I just got back from an overnight trip doing field work in the north of Louisiana. One of my assistants thinks he's our talisman for not getting the crappy '99 Suburban that the school "let's" us use stuck in the mud. Well Mr. Lucky Boy was driving and gets us stuck in the mud. Really red sticky sloppy mud. We fishtailed slightly so the truck was at an angle across the road.

So we whip out the come-a-long which has no directions and takes all three of us to release the cable which breaks from the wench mechanism the first time we try it out. We think we rig it to work but only have about 4 or 5 feet of cable (which can't be right). Thank goodness I got an extra tow rope. So we work on getting the front end straightened out. But now that there is intense weight and pressure on the come-a-long we can't release it; not without getting our fingers jammed and possibly our faces sliced off when the cable releases.

Four, count them, four towing companies deny us help because they don't think they can get their trucks in to where we are stuck. And by the way, on the map the road we were on is labeled as an improved road. Our talisman was able to get a hold of a game warden who brings out his 4x4 pickup truck with a wench on the front.

His first attempt to get us out actually gets the truck stuck worse in the roadside ditch of flowing mud river. He has to change it up working in the front and then the back, switching until finally he gets us on gravel again. Thank goodness he follows us out because the '99 had trouble the rest of the way as well.

I hate Louisiana...

Mom's coming!

Mom my is coming to visit this Sunday! I am so excited to see her and show her our home we've created. I also can't wait to show her the puppies (Jacquamo and Maxwell Smart, she's already met Reeves). I want to show her our beautiful house, my school, some field sites, and the dog park! Oh yeah, Mardi Gras... This will be our third Mardi Gras and the first time we will do anything for it.

But then there's also the shadow... my mother has nice things and is extremely clean and neat. And I am cleaning my house all the time!! And it still feels like a disaster zone.

I already feel like my landlady is watching me, judging me on how I keep her house. It is driving me nuts! Hmm, perhaps I should bring this up to my therapist...

I will be north on an overnight sampling trip when my mom arrives. So I have to trust that Alan has the house presentable when he goes to pick her up. Go ahead... chuckle, chortle, and break into raucous laughter...

Trying...

My life seems to be full of things I am trying to do. I am trying to run more. Granted, twice is more than none at all.

I am also trying to cook fresh dinners more.

I am trying to train my dogs more, get back to my art work, finish several knitting projects and get started on several more...

I am trying to keep my house clean, but with three dogs, two cats, and one husband it's challenging. I just KNOW I will appreciate having only five animals (well six if you count the husband) when we have(a) child(ren).

I am trying to learn to appreciate Led Zeppelin because everyone else in the world thinks they are musical gods so what's wrong with me...

I am trying to do something else with my hair besides the same old ponytail (actually I'm not trying that hard).

Wow, look how many times I wrote "I"... I'm done now...

Avery Island

Louisiana is home to Tabasco sauce on Avery Island. The Tabasco factory was eh... but Jungle Garden nearby was really nice.

I'm back

I really had no intention of blogging again. But while I was home for my brother's funeral Cassie told me that she had read my blog regularly. Ok, Cassie, here we go again.

Umm.... so what's going on? Now that I'm back in Lafayette and done traveling it is really hitting me that Ronny is dead. Hitting me like a ton of bricks. It makes breathing and moving difficult. Oh and caring... I just don't care. Yet I go through the motions of field work, school work, cleaning.... and so it gets done.

If you're at all interested in some incredibly sad music to melt to, I recommend:
February Song by Josh Groban
The Funeral by Band of Horses
Lonely Day by System of the Down
Hello by Evanescence
a song (I don't know what it's called from Black Hawk Down)
Senza Fiato by Dolores O'Riordan and Giuliano Sangiorgi

We have one puppy left and I have sneaky suspicion that he's going to stay... That means I need more help from Alan in taking care of them. As I said, I just don't care right now.

Funny story: yesterday while out at a field site I had to go to the bathroom in the woods. Normal thing I do when needed (and frankly the woods is cleaner than some spots we've found). I finish my business, get back to the truck and move on to the next track plate spot. I feel itching and stinging in my pants along my underwear line. I go back into the woods to check on it and I have ants in my pants! Literally! Unfortunately they were fire ants. Fortunately they didn't bite my rear, but they did bite my hand and arm. And usually I am so careful about where I pee....